Milestones

Joseph cut his last main two teeth - the bottom incisors - two weeks ago.  He was very grumpy and bothered about it, but once they made it through he seemed to be back to normal.  Relatedly I think, that weekend was also the weekend we weaned.  I nursed Michael for almost 14 months, Malcolm for about 16 months, and now Joseph for...26.  Because he really wanted to keep doing it and it was important to him, and I didn't mind and was (mostly) happy to keep it up.  It was down to nighttime and naptime on the weekends for the last few months but he still wanted to.  When I saw he was getting distracted, it was a very noticeable change within the space of a couple of days, so it was an easy call to make.  He was really sad about it for two days ("because I crying"), and then he moved on without a backwards glance.  (Except for some lingering grumpiness about precisely how it's acceptable for me to put him to sleep, as opposed to Dad.)  I was really sad, surprisingly so, for two days also.  Dr. Google told me it was because I was no longer producing oxytocin.  But La Leche League also said, unsurprisingly, it's because it just represents moving on from an important stage.  No more nursing my baby now.  It is bittersweet.

For all those who think I'm a crazy attachment mama in other various ways too, I finally turned Joseph around in the car seat at about 25 months.  (The others stayed rear facing until about 20 months.)  No regrets about doing that, either :)  But Joseph was quite happy to be able to climb in and out of his seat "all myself".  With getting in and out of the car, as well as most other things lately, including taking off his pants, Joseph's favorite phrase is "I do it!  Joseph do it!"  (He uses pronouns quite well, but in case we dim parents don't get it, he'll clarify for us by using his own name... :)  Getting to be quite an independent little toddler.  Sweet boy :)

Fifteen months

Joseph makes us smile every day.  He is a very active little guy who is always busy trying to figure things out - getting on and off little riding toys, opening cabinets, carefully turning board book pages ... and studying how to open the refrigerator.  As soon as he can figure that one out, I think he thinks he's got it made.  In the meantime, his communication skills keep on growing.  His favorite sign and word is "Da!" while touching his forehead with his thumb (sign for Dad).  He always wants to know where Dad is and coming running to the door whenever Mike gets home from work.  Joseph can also sign "grapes," (says "vas" for "uvas"), "please," "girl," "milk," "book," and "water" (says "awa" for "agua" while putting fingers up to his chin).  He's working on the signs for "outside," "cracker," "baby," and "car."  I LOVE how he tries to imitate everything now even if he can't quite get it.  For a little board book called "Where is the Green Sheep?" that title question is the refrain.  Every time I ask it I shrug my shoulders a little bit and hold my hands up.  At the end when we find the green sheep fast asleep, I close my eyes and put my hands next to my face like I'm sleeping on a pillow.  These are not, of course, ASL signs, but Joseph has been imitating them every time we read :)  If I show him how to pour water into a cup at the water table, he will pay close attention and then practice doing the same thing.  He's making progress with a fork already, which seems early to me.  He's a fast learner!  He can also now shake his head (which he does very clearly if he doesn't want someone to hold him or he's rejecting your food offer) and wave bye-bye on cue.

The most effective communication method, however, especially when it comes to his brothers, is a loud screech.  It's the only way he can keep Malcolm from smooching him to death when he's in his car seat or sitting next to him on the couch.  In a possible sign of things to come, though, we have noted a few times where Joseph has screeched in protest ... while Malcolm is innocently sitting off to the side.  Are we being played already?  It's a reminder that you can't jump to conclusions and sometimes even babies appear to want to get their siblings in trouble.  Ha.  Joseph does play animals and hide-and-seek with Michael, and likes to play ball with Malcolm.

Joseph is the master of his little domain around here.  I rearranged some of the toys on one of our shelves so he can reach things more easily, and now he has no trouble selecting exactly what he wants: rubber animal toys (he likes to growl for the tiger and lion), a pop-up toy with five animals (he can push the button for the panda in the middle, and uses the handle to bring this one right to you so you will help him open the others), some race cars (he thinks it's fun to see them go down the slides), books and balls.  Current favorite books are "God Made Wonderful Me," for which he can now point to his hair, nose, eyes, ears and mouth, "Where is the Green Sheep?" and a big book of numbers.

Most days now Joseph skips his morning nursing session, but he still asks for milk when we get home every afternoon and before bedtime, and then once or twice at night.  His molars are starting to come in (one and a half out of four so far) and he's been whimpering at bedtime the last week or so in particular.  One day he'll sleep all the way through the night!  It's hard to resist the little guy doing a happy little laugh and saying "Mama" when I come into the room though :)

On the name front, we all mostly call him Joseph or Joe.  Malcolm is the only one who stretches this in multiple ways.  "Joey-Joe," "Joey-Joey," and "Joey B" are his main favorites.  I continue to find it adorable how his older brothers are so solicitous and sweet to him.  Every afternoon when we get in the car, Malcolm says sweetly, "You want MILK, Joey?  And GRAPES?  You want some UVAS??"  Smooch.

Seven months old

At seven months old, Joseph continues to be quite the active baby (as previously documented).  Crawling all over the living room (including around the couches), venturing into the kitchen to slap the tiles, jumping in his exersaucer, and banging his spoon on the high chair while screeching loudly are all moves in his current repertoire. 

It all comes back to milk, though.  He is swallowing better and does seem to be hungry specifically for baby cereal sometimes, but he really is still almost exclusively nursing.  I can't remember exactly when the other kids transitioned to more food, but I feel like it was earlier than now.  It would only make a difference to me if I thought it would help with sleeping, but there's no evidence it would.  With all the extra activity, developmental milestones, and painful teething, it is pretty much to be expected that he wants to nurse more, especially during quiet times at night.  The truth is I enjoy nursing the baby just as much as he needs it.  Of course some of that is hormonal, but it's also nice to know that he needs me for something I can provide :)  I read an article recently on KellyMom.com (fantastic breastfeeding resource) that pointed to CDC studies showing that in America, less than 30% of babies are still exclusively breastfed at 4 months old, and only about 16% at 6 months. (!!)  For any nursing at all, it's about 56% at 4 months and down to less than 50% by 6 months.  The good news is that's actually trended up quite a bit since a decade ago, when only a third of babies were still breastfed at all at 6 months.  I didn't realize until I read that how unusual it was to nurse.  There's a million reasons why stopping early happens, of course, including difficulty with milk supply (which I experienced with Michael) and demands of work, where many women aren't able to pump and so eventually just wean the babies altogether.  And some people give up after facing difficulties, or just aren't suited to it.  Still, I can't help but think that it's really unfortunate, since most babies wouldn't wean themselves that early.  Most babies really love to nurse, not only for nutrition but also for comfort.  I know it calms Joseph down instantly when he's upset.  It would be great if more moms who do want to try nursing longer, but feel discouraged by pain, latch problems, mastitis, nursing strikes, or anything else -- all of which I experienced with Michael -- could receive encouragement and help through the difficult times to stick with it.  La Leche League was a good resource.  Other moms can help, too, just letting women know that sometimes it's not as easy as you'd think but it can be worth it to persevere.  At least in my case, figuring out solutions to the problems helped so much and I think my babies were happy for it. 

No matter how much I'm glad to be nursing, though, and don't mind waking up to feed him if he needs it, the sleep deprivation is probably the thing I like least about these early months.  Since Malcolm didn't sleep through the night until after he was a year old, I realize it's likely going to be awhile yet to get some good sleep.  Yawn!

Doing great at 6 days old

Bath time with Lita

Malcolm had his first checkup today. I almost had a repeat of my first trip to the doctor's office with Michael, when I forgot to bring the diaper bag, but I remembered as we were getting in the car! A good thing, too, since we ended up needing a clean diaper in the 20 minutes we were at the doctor's office.

Malcolm is looking great at 9 lbs, 5 oz. The doctor said they usually like to see a return to birth weight by two weeks later, so to have him right about there at one week is a sign he is eating like a champ. It also means nursing is going much, much better for me than in the beginning with Michael. I think my milk had come in by Friday night, and Malcolm has had no problems with latching and eating quite efficiently. It still hurts a little (have to get toughened up again) but I'm so happy that my supply is fine.  There's no indication yet we would need to supplement with formula, and Malcolm is such a contented little eater.  Very good news!

 

Little chubs

All done?

It has been one week since the last time Michael wanted to nurse. I think that means he is completely, officially weaned, as of 14.5 months, so I thought I should mark the time! I stopped pumping at 12 months, but continued nursing him consistently for the next six weeks, and then for a little while after that just at night, every couple of nights. I am sure there wasn't any milk left by the end, but he wasn't nursing for milk at that point anyway, just like a little "checking in" kind of reassurance. But gradually he let me put him to sleep without nursing, and now it seems that's all through. I feel pretty happy about how the process happened overall -- partly me-led, partly baby-led, and on what seemed like a natural progression. That is what weaning is supposed to be, right? The only thing that makes me sad is not the weaning itself, it's just the feeling every day that I love Michael as a little baby, with chubby little hands and feet, two bottom front teeth, a tummy that sticks way out when he's running, and those great cheeks. He just keeps getting bigger and I think I'm going to miss this baby stage when it's through.

13 months old!

Michael was 13 months over the weekend and he is learning new things every day. It is so much fun to see! This month, in addition to "mama", "dada", "up", and "agua", he has added the words "bear" (he says it more like "beh"), "apple" (appah), "papa" for the pictures of Pope Benedict we have on the refrigerator, "banana" (nana), "mas"/"more" (ma), and finally he's working hard on "oatmeal" (it comes out more like "oh-meh"). Whenever he sees food that he really wants -- usually snacks and adult food, naturally -- he'll start saying "mmmmm" really emphatically. Last night when Chris and Stefani came over to babysit, Chris had a few cookies, so Michael would head right over to Chris every time he opened the package and say "Mmmmmmm!" until he successfully got some cookie for himself. It is pretty funny. Finally, with regards to communicating, Michael has the sign for "please" down very well.

Michael also learned how to walk this month! A week or so after his birthday he started working on individual steps, and day by day he worked on stringing them together. For awhile he could get six in a row, but that seemed to be the limit. Then in last couple of weeks, he has walked all over the house. He raises his arms all the way up and usually gets a big smile on his face when he starts moving.

Other little developmental things with Michael right now are that he loves putting things in cups and hiding spaces and then retrieving them. He loves music and doesn't mind pushing the buttons on three different toys all at once as long as it just results in music (I mind this, though -- cacophany!). He dances to all types of music by shaking his midsection if he's sitting down or bopping if he's standing up. Finally, we are still gradually working on weaning. I stopped pumping at work about a month ago, which seemed like a good time since I'd been doing it for six months! But I really wanted weaning to go more gradually at home. Over time, he has stopped asking to nurse after I get home from work or during the day on weekends, so we are down to sometimes before bed and once per night. I don't mind that at all. I know I don't have much milk left at this point but it's still a small comfort thing and we both seem to be happy with that!

Crying over spilled milk

I just knocked over one of the bottles of milk I pumped this morning, for Michael for when I go back to work on Monday :( I'll get more later, but it did make me pretty upset for a little while. It takes a lot of effort to get those ounces! But at least pumping is going easier, and luckily I have an office with its own door at work so that will be a good situation. I'm going to try to keep it up at least another three months, maybe a bit longer, but we'll see. I suppose I'll be getting all into a routine soon enough and it will all seem normal, and hopefully the initial transition won't be too hard -- although after six months of being with my little guy almost all the time, it will certainly be abrupt. (Yes, this paragraph just went from nursing/pumping to work in general without a good transition, but they're all related.)

I know millions of moms work outside the home and they (and their kids) are fine, and I'm sure I will be too. I'm grateful to have the job that I do, and I do enjoy being a professional, developing my skills and being intellectually challenged (sometimes, anyway :) at work. And Michael will be in great hands.

It's just hard.

Moms' day out

The other week Michael the baby and I went to a La Leche League meeting to meet some other mothers and babies, and learn a bit about the topic of that class (weaning).  I'm not planning to wean Michael for a while yet if I can help it, but it's good to know a bit more about it.  The meeting was at a Lutheran church in Plano and it was very nice.  The best thing was that usually, I try to nurse Michael before we go out and hope he'll be all right for awhile when we're out, but here everyone was feeding their babies off and on, so no one minded!  :)   I should have gone to these sooner, instead of right before I go back to work, but what can you do.  I did meet some nice women around my age with babies of various ages and we decided to get together for lunch, which we did today.

I was running late this morning but I did make it out -- we met at Panera in north/west Plano, which isn't that close to me but seemed to be in the middle of Frisco, east Plano, Richardson, and Allen.  Dallas really is huge!  It was so nice to get out for a little while (88 degrees today, but the shade was perfect) and meet other mothers (and their cute babies).  We already made plans to get together again next week.  I hope I can stay in touch once I am back at work.

I'm not looking forward to going back at this point :(  I took Michael to JC Penney yesterday to get a few new shirts for my work wardrobe.  (Michael seemed bemused to be in the stroller in the store, instead of outside in our neighborhood like normal.)  The shirts are cute, and I did get two pairs of pants (less than $20 each on sale, good deal) that are one size up from my normal, since these last 10 pounds are sticking around still.  I can button my normal size suit pants, but they might be a bit too tight for the office :)  (Also the tops are tighter in front, but that's for a different reason!  Ha.)  So I caved temporarily.  But I'm not giving up yet!

New skills and nursing strikes

Michael has been quite a character lately.  Every time I try to figure him out he switches things up on us.  On Sunday, for instance, we left him on the playmat for just a moment while we stepped into the kitchen.  When we came back, he had rotated himself 180 degrees from how we left him!  That was the first time we have seen him move.  He did it again by rotating 90 degrees in his bassinet this morning when I found him.  It's all crazy from here on out, I know... We're going to be in trouble when gets fully mobile.  He can now also push himself up pretty well!

[caption id="attachment_642" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Push up"][/caption]

Michael switches up his sleep schedule and fussy times quite a bit, too. Sometimes he lets me sleep until 5 or 6, but then for four days in a row he was up at 2:30 or 3.  And all weekend he was all smiles and talking a lot, but then he went on a mini-nursing strike last night and was positively inconsolable for a few hours.  He just didn't want to nurse, I think because he was so hungry (for whatever reason ... it's not like I starve the child!)  that he was impatient with nursing and just wanted a bottle :(  This website suggested feeding him formula first and then trying to nurse, or pumping if you have to, until the baby settles down and shows interest again.  In any event, the website helped (along with the nursing book my mom gave me, an invaluable resource!*) and he nursed fine today -- up until another mini-strike tonight.  But I think I got him through that (easier tonight than yesterday) and he is nursing to sleep now.  All that growing must be exhausting.

*I feel like I should give a PSA on nursing to all the women out there who, like me, have/had no idea how many things can come up while nursing.  It's not always as easy or natural as I assumed.  Clogged ducts, painful cracks, supply problems, oversupply, latching issues, nursing fussiness ... yikes!  But it seems like many women go through this and you can usually make it through :)

Full time job

According to what I've been reading, there is a big range of "normal" when it comes to babies and eating -- some babies are very efficient and finish eating in 20-30 minutes total each time, and some just take their time.  Either way, it is apparently best to let them finish on their own so they get the whole range of milk.  Michael is mostly a take-his-time eater and often can actively be eating for 20-30 minutes on each side!  Add in the bottle supplements on some feedings (which he can take another half-hour to eat), take out a few "snacks", and still at 8-12 times I am feeding this kid probably 10 to 12 hours a day.  Good grief!  If this time was billable, I'd be golden.

Back on track

Since we started on the new feeding pattern (formula supplements for him and some extra pumping from me), the little guy has gained four ounces in three days.  Good news!

A little extra

Yesterday Michael and I took two trips out, one to the pediatrician and one to Target.  He did a great job with both!  Unfortunately, though, he has still not gained a single ounce of weight since last week.  It looks like there are no problems at all with the baby -- so they must be with me :(  The doctor suggested a couple of different things we should do to make sure he is getting enough milk: I am supposed to try pumping a little bit after each feeding to stimulate more supply, and I need to increase the number of calories I am taking in every day.  I am pretty sure that last is accurate, since I don't have any increased appetite at all over normal, so I'm pretty sure I have not been eating an extra 500 calories or whatever I need.  My mom suggested calling the La Leche League to ask for suggestions on what to do here, since I really don't want to (for instance) go on the extra-Big-Mac-per-day diet at this point!  Also, for the short term, I am supposed to feed Michael about a half-ounce to ounce of formula after each feeding.  Poor boy -- when I gave him some yesterday, his eyes got wide and alert and he drank two ounces at the first try!  (Since then it's just been an extra half ounce or so.)  So I guess he does need a little more food.  At least this means Dad can help a little bit with the feedings, which he is happy to do:

[caption id="attachment_409" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="A new person to help with feedings"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_410" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Both Michaels seem happy with the arrangement!"][/caption]

Michael was a little more alert and less fussy last night after he got some extra milk, so I think the supplements are helping already.  Hopefully when we go back to the doctor on Friday morning he will have gained an ounce or two.  In the meantime, I am trying to relax and just focus on helping him do the best he can to thrive!

[caption id="attachment_411" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Normal feeding"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_412" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="And a happier baby overall :)"][/caption]

Hungry baby

Today I took Michael for his second pediatrician appointment.  It was my first trip out with him alone, and everything went swimmingly . . . except that I forgot the diaper bag after I packed it!  Oh well.  My food source is portable and I changed him before we left.

The baby did great at the doctor's office even though we were there a long time since she was running behind.  He had to get some blood drawn from his heel and he got his hepatitis-B vaccine.  He cried for both of those but I was nursing him so he calmed down okay.  He only weighs 8 pounds, though -- didn't quite make it back to birth weight yet.  The doctor said he looks like he's doing great, she just wants me to watch a few things to make sure he's getting enough milk.  So I need to be careful to drink more water, and I'm also looking again at the breastfeeding books my mom got me to make sure he really is latching correctly.  (It certainly feels like it!  But I'm paying more attention.)  Michael has been mostly conked out this afternoon after his shot but has nursed twice for awhile, so no naps for Mom.  Oh well!