Little fish

For someone who really enjoys swimming and hopes her kids will feel comfortable in the water, I have a very persistent fear of the water. I don't usually like swimming in lakes; wading in shallows is as far as I'll generally go in the ocean although I enjoy the beach; and unless a pool (even my own!) stays at no more than five or six feet consistent depth I feel a bit anxious. I'm not entirely sure where it comes from -- unlike my childhood fears of fire (after we learned about fire safety in first grade) or blindness (after I read some "teen" novel from the library about a girl going blind) I think this one is the result of not spending much time around pools, lakes or oceans as a kid, plus a lifetime of reading things from impressionable ages up till now. I specifically remember reading as a teenager an autobiography of a woman who became a quadriplegic from a shallow diving accident, and you hear about boating accidents, drownings in flooded creeks, and tragic backyard pool incidents every year in the paper.

This never completely stopped me from swimming myself. I'm pretty sure my dad taught me how to swim before I was ten, and even though I used little floaties for a long time I think I usually liked it. He taught me three of the main strokes. In college for awhile (during one of my periodic, albeit infrequent, exercise kicks) I swam laps three times a week, through the winter, in the Olympic size pool in the athletic center next to my dorm. And I've always swum whenever I had the chance at hotels or other people's pools, including at my parents' house, which is great.

So now as a pool owner and parent, with a deep-end-and-diving-board pool, I'm trying hard to overcome my resurgent anxiety :(. We did put up a solid pool fence across the backyard last summer, which makes me feel MUCH safer having kids here. The fence does everything it's supposed to -- it has a self-closing gate and a lockable latch kids can't reach until they're a lot older than Michael is now, and the way it swings open it's pretty much impossible for a kid to slip past you without you noticing -- so it's pretty secure. I go swimming on a regular basis (it feels great during pregnancy!) not only because I like it, but also partly just to prove to myself that I'm fine with it.

I have fun taking Michael in the water, and he seems to love it. I've been thinking of the kinds of pool safety rules I want to teach him. He knows how to back down carefully onto the first step in the pool but I should probably teach him to wait until I'm in the water first. We'll do the "walking, no running" rules around the pool too, although for now he just goes patiently to and from the gate. I guess the most important thing is swim lessons. Probably that's not doable this summer because all the programs for little kids in Richardson seem to involve 10 intensive half-hour sessions during the day in the space of two weeks, but the times aren't feasible for me and it takes a lot of effort to get little kids to and from a pool that's not in the backyard :) Not that it would be any easier with more than one kid, but maybe I can just do floating and kicking lessons with him myself this summer and see what's available later in the fall or next summer for formal lessons. I wonder if it would also help for me to have some sort of water rescue/lifeguard lessons? I don't know if they even do those for adults or if it would be worth it, but I'm thinking about practical things that might help me feel better. I think just being vigilant and putting good house rules in place is the best thing to do here, and hopefully those will translate for my kids for every other place they swim too. I just don't want them to have the same phobias I do! Growing up in Texas, I hope their odds will be good :)